Here goes! I hope i don't over think this because i am a bit overwhelmed thinking i have to produce 20 years before your eyes right now...

20 years ago, Oct. 15th, 1988-

I am a freshman which means I am playing basketball and am about to crank up my first season. I am singing loudly in gym with Holly Sewell, "Mr Big Stuff" if i am hearing it right...I have pictures of Michael J Fox all over my butterfly bedroom (harvest gold and burnt orange with green shag carpet) I had begun my mix tape collection and recorded most of my music straight from the radio so i caught a lot of DJ talk. It was something I worked daily. I kept a daily journal and would write in it every night before bed. I would give myself advice for when I had kids someday. I should go look that thing up.

10 years ago, Oct. 15, 1998-

I have an 18th month old Gates who is so totally awesome and I am very pregnant with Spencer Grant (aka- Joseph Riley). I am actually sitting on the couch watching life pass me by. Little Spencer/ Riley tried to come early and I had to sit out the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. I am feeling a bit powerless but my friends are awesome and would even come and worship with me. Gates is very independent but doesn't say much yet. He is fast and furious and I can't wait to be able to take care of my house again.

5 years ago, Oct. 15, 2003

Sadie and Riley are now additions to the Killen Kids and life is going along day by day. Sadie is about 13 months old and i think she's beautiful and amazing. The boys are probably feverishly planning their Halloween costumes. I am working at Darby Drive part time officially as the Children's Minister. We are about to have our first Harvest Festival.

1 year ago, Oct. 15, 2007

I have a 5th and 3rd grader and my baby is finishing up her last year in pre-school. I am working still and finally after 6 years as a CM the rhythm of it comes easier. I am getting used to the idea that my kids are getting big. I officially do not have a baby. We moved to the big city and are loving our house. The kids all have their own room. The additions are all complete and we are settled in well. I am attending a lot of functions at the McGee farm lately.

Yesterday, Oct. 14, 2008

I packed three lunches and no one complained about the contents (amazing) and took all the kids to school. I dropped them off and went in in order to get a receipt for a donation from Heavenly Ham for Pumpkin Day. Then i went to said HH and got the $15 gift card, met up with a grandmother in whom i did not know and sent her on her way with the card then went straight to CPCC for a staff meeting which led me straight on to the rest of my day.

Today, Oct. 15, 2008

No lunch making because its chicken strip day Wednesday. Woo Hoo! Met up with Erin H and Krista for a lovely day of painting yellow. Had lunch with Cort and then back to painting, alone this time. I pick up the crazies at 2:50 and then we are back home for a moments peace before church tonight. Sat thru the latest Beth Moore video and was bonded with my lovely Christian lady friends with a very huge shoulder to shoulder prayer. Little awkward but big on purpose and felt hugely encouraged. And now I am here, decompressing a bit.

Tomorrow, Oct. 16, 2008

I plan on packing 3 lunches, cheese and bread i guess because i need to get groceries. I will be taking the kids to school again because i have to drop off my pumpkin day basket items. I then will be prancing off to said grocery store then back to paint with Amanda this time. We may have to just get rooms ready to paint and maybe have time to walk 5 miles. too much info? Then kids, karate and make supper and bedtime. I am tired just thinking about it.

McGee Farm on Benadryl

I had to share this. Sadie has been suffering from some allergies so it only made sense to give her a Benadryl tablet before going to the McGee Farm and being around dust and hay all day. I guess I didn't think it completely through. She obviously still didn't get the most out of the trip to the patch.

(Above she is showing me her collection of cotton. Anything to dodge my camera.)

Playing in corn... everything she formed in the loose corn involved a bed or pillow of some type.

the closest i got to an actual smile

i have a numerous amount of things on my mind. the sad part is none of it is worthy of keeping track of someday in order to blog about. it's this time of my life that i will look back on and either not remember or not like myself because i was so all consumed that i don't recognize who i am.

i am trying hard in my conversations to God to limit the complaining. there are so many things going right. but mostly those things are things i don't even know i am so blessed with (ex. kids being healthy, home, bed, friends) because i have never truly had to do without.

so here i sit. bogged down, overloaded with work at church, school and home and satan strikes like he always does. this time in the form of eliminating the ease of flow of these easy blessings (i am going to term them)

for example, sadie started complaining with a headache and is stuffy, sinus infection i am sure. sick. one strike
rileys bed broke, clean in two parts. we need a new bed. strike two
the house has had, well i will just say, some trials. she's old and tired and needs some adjusting, which costs us. strike three.

petty petty petty. i should stop and delete but i am hoping to find a point. i think satan sees us a beutiful red target when we overload ourselves. and strikes while we are down. i have asked God with my white flag waving to send in His warriors on my behalf. but when said with a bad attitude, not sure that will be exactly how He will choose to work it.

but this time Satan decided to nag me. which led me to a temptation i haven't felt in a while, I am ungrateful. maybe i am always ungrateful, surely i am in some ways but mostly I am trying to find the good things and make some peace about that. but not lately. i am thinking "what good things?!" i can't let Satan have a foothold, i know better. and i know if i focused on the verse about being still and resting, my life wouldn't have such control over me.

i haven't anyway to close these thoughts, i am still in the middle of them. i want to say pray! for me, and i hope you will but some part of me says get up, you know what to do.