searching for symphonies

g'morning.

last night i watched "august rush" again and decided that movie has to be the sappiest movie designed for music lovers who believe in romance before the basics of life itself. yes, yes, it is one of my favorite movies but i realized last night not for that sappy romance musicy reason alone (although that just really gets me...) i think the idea of that movie is awesome...that a child can believe in something so strong and not give up no matter what he's being told.

then i asked myself, what do i believe? the passion i could fall back on was my passion in Jesus and how God is so amazing. i know passion stems from belief, of course i believe in Them. but i am not writing symphonies here and i am not bringing life full circle. i know it is a movie and unfortunately people don't walk around with such grounded belief systems, but what if we did?! what if we responded to criticism with belief? what if we walked away from a bad day NOT discouraged but charged with belief?

i know little August cried. he had his moments where life got to him, but he never dropped the music, the belief.

i woke up feeling like the "almost" girl. (if i were a super hero my name would be...)

i feel like in just about everything, i either don't get it right, or almost pull it off. wow, that sounds so negative and i truly don't mean to be. i am trying to figure out if these two concepts are related. if my belief in myself, in Him thru me, were stronger- i doubt i would feel like i could write the next "almost girl" comic line.

back to August. music came natural to him. he composed in seconds after learning what notes meant. some of us search our whole life trying to figure out "what comes natural" to us. what a waste. i just don't think it can possibly be that hard to figure out. the hard part is that we keep searching for symphonies instead of accepting that what comes natural may be organizing clothes for the friendship center or reading with expression to a child. i am guilty. aren't symphonies and organizing all the same? finding your gift may be your passion too, but it may not be at first.

i believe God nestles us in nicely when we surrender ourselves. i guess we shouldn't be alarmed if we aren't working with passion because i figure we are still holding on to what we wish were our gift. how silly coming from the almost girl. maybe i should just chunk the almost feeling and grab hold of my pen and write the next symphony. i think that translates for me, prepare my Sunday night lesson for little kids then put another load in the wash. but today i am going to give myself some props- i think i may be onto something.

how's your symphony coming?

I am walking...

i am walking in the Atlanta 3 Day Walk to raise money for a cure for breast cancer- not big news to my readers but that's what i've been working on a lot lately so i thought i would experiment with my blog and see if any of the people that pass thru here have a story to share about cancer and how it's effected their life.

mom had cancer when i was in the 4th grade. obviously she survived but not without a lot of personal trial. my memories of it all are simple because my parents wanted us to not be worried. looking back as a mom now i assume she was going thru the whole "will i survive and get to raise my kids?!" thing. not easy or simple.

she was in the hospital while my grandparents stayed with me and tony. then she came home with a huge scar on her upper thigh from a skin graft. dad had to tend to it every night and i would painfully watch. the skin was grafted onto a 5 x 5 spot they dug out of her leg where a malignant mole was removed. crazy to say but she was blessed. she was able to catch the melanoma before it spread.

her dad died just shortly after he heard the news he had cancer. he was in his 40's. her mom (mauma) just died of ovarian cancer. i really don't like how cancer has just barged in to our family and sometimes i get a little freaked out because i am of those obvious vulnerable genes.

however, i didn't agree to walk because of all that. i am walking because, well, this is where God has me right now. in this spot, raising money with these people for this awesome cause. next year i hope i might get to be placed here again, but He may have me somewhere else. and that's good too. i am blessed to have a chance to be a part of this effort. i realize there are sooo many efforts out there that are worthy. if you are being pulled and have this on your heart, you can help us reach our goal by clicking on the upper right hand part of the screen.

thanks and pray for a cure! i am curious to see how cancer has effected any of you. let me know if you have a minute. thanks.