What makes up my Alabama "snow" day...

• 3 cups of hot cocoa
• · Half of a game of Phase 10
• · One child grounded from their DSi
• · 18 fish sticks and 2 boxes of spiral mac
• · Several trips to the window.
• · Several reminders it’s not snow.
• · 2 games of Wii with a couple of friends from the United Kingdom
• · 3 episodes of Jonas Brothers
• · 4 attempts to teach a 7 year old how to shuffle
• · One of four special “walk Hershey through the kitchen” moments
• · 20 texts and emails to cancel play practice.
• · Count them, seven- times I was asked for a Popsicle--?!
• · One attempt to watch a movie “The Soloist”-crazy homeless guy who distracts a busy fast paced NY Times writer with his genius.
• · One attempt to read a book - “Crazy Love”- writer guy attempts to distract Christianity to be crazy for his genius God.
• · 2 moments of feeling confirmed- sometimes crazy is good.
• · One super-hot-pink-skin shower.
• · 3 attempts to work the family puzzle.
• · Zero glances at a datebook, calendar or planner.

Me in Real Life

Today i spent in the world of theater. I watched two different movies, totally unrelated and completely different in every way. (Sherlock Holmes was one, you can guess the other) And when i wasn't watching what someone put together for my enjoyment, i spent in another filmstrip going on in my mind.

Pretending, writing, thinking, to the point i was in another time and place. I was left imagining- what if i let my mind have way with itself? Writing while listening to the music that inspires and wishing I knew what else to do when i get to this point. Usually i end up thinking "you better stop wasting time and do something more productive" which is my exact back of my mind thought at this very moment. I will choose to ignore and carry on for now...

The thoughts of Oswald tonight sent me back to what i know. Find Him and you will find you- by following Him, your heart will be drawn into your soul--being wrapped up in the outpouring. Lately my pace is at an all time fast rate and I don't even recognize myself. Who is this girl? There's no outpouring going on here. Just a lot of planning. I feel drained and while i know the planning makes things work and happen- i can't seem to pull my head above water for a breath of art and fancy and heart.

Where's the balance?

I love that word and hate it all at the same time. One thing I know is I am not made for this world leaving me constantly unbalanced. But the other thing i know for sure is that i am here, so i better find that dang balance and figure out what i need more of to pull that scale down a bit.

Balance to me means learning to pull myself out of the fairy-tale world my mind lives in where i can dance and no one yells at anyone- ever and think straight and organized and simply. I can recognize a good organizer and planner from a mile away, but for the life of me i can't mimic them standing front and center. Why is that?

So my age long pursuit stands in front of me. I must put my big girl panties on and tell some lucky folks what to do, where to go, what to teach, fix, learn, drive, ....it goes on. Sometimes i think I may be in the wrong business. Sometimes i think i just need to stop my whining, let God show me up and let Jesus shine.

Whichever direction I decide to lean towards, I know I love my God and He will make all things right. Eventually things will make sense again and I will have had a taste of my passion and it will look fairly put together for those who see the need in that.

Until then I will be praying for desire, for hope to float up again and inspire me- and for my complicated mind to rest.