let me tell you about my mauma

this afternoon my daddy called and told me mauma's gone on. we knew it was impending and hoped it was soon so she could go home. i didn't know how i would react honestly. first i told the kids and we shed a few tears but comforted ourselves with knowing she had a new body now.

then we went for ice cream. as i sat there at sonic i thought this was our small, makeshift celebration for her. she would've had orange sherbert. not surprisingly, i needed time to be alone and think and thank God for her passing and He gets to hold her now, not us anymore. still i feel sorry for me. i miss her right now, suddenly wishing i could take her big blue mesh bag of laundry back out to her and run in for a quick hello.

the last few months she and i shared moments that i will take with me till i meet her again. she's given me wisdom and strength in a gentle way. she was sharp as a tack and loved deeply. she had a big loud mouth and a laugh that would scare you. she loved wearing shirts with bright colors and was a huge harley fan. rarely did she miss the waterloo trail of tears, even from her wheelchair! i never knew if it was the motorcycles or men with long hair that drew her interest. she did love to flirt.

i could go on and on about her love for writing little notes to people all over the place. she knew the value of encouragement. she was a big fan of the group picture with her in the exact center of us all. she was also the churchlady that sings soprano too loudly. but she felt it and sang it not considering whether we liked it or not. her boldness is a strength i keep trying to recreate in me.

i missed some opportunities with her. but i know she was also a fan of understanding and forgiving me. she is the first person i have loved and lost in death. an experience i had to write about so i wouldn't forget the rawness of grief.

her butterfly loving self is feeling the wind in her hair now.