i have a numerous amount of things on my mind. the sad part is none of it is worthy of keeping track of someday in order to blog about. it's this time of my life that i will look back on and either not remember or not like myself because i was so all consumed that i don't recognize who i am.
i am trying hard in my conversations to God to limit the complaining. there are so many things going right. but mostly those things are things i don't even know i am so blessed with (ex. kids being healthy, home, bed, friends) because i have never truly had to do without.
so here i sit. bogged down, overloaded with work at church, school and home and satan strikes like he always does. this time in the form of eliminating the ease of flow of these easy blessings (i am going to term them)
for example, sadie started complaining with a headache and is stuffy, sinus infection i am sure. sick. one strike
rileys bed broke, clean in two parts. we need a new bed. strike two
the house has had, well i will just say, some trials. she's old and tired and needs some adjusting, which costs us. strike three.
petty petty petty. i should stop and delete but i am hoping to find a point. i think satan sees us a beutiful red target when we overload ourselves. and strikes while we are down. i have asked God with my white flag waving to send in His warriors on my behalf. but when said with a bad attitude, not sure that will be exactly how He will choose to work it.
but this time Satan decided to nag me. which led me to a temptation i haven't felt in a while, I am ungrateful. maybe i am always ungrateful, surely i am in some ways but mostly I am trying to find the good things and make some peace about that. but not lately. i am thinking "what good things?!" i can't let Satan have a foothold, i know better. and i know if i focused on the verse about being still and resting, my life wouldn't have such control over me.
i haven't anyway to close these thoughts, i am still in the middle of them. i want to say pray! for me, and i hope you will but some part of me says get up, you know what to do.
5 comments:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. We will be praying for you. Hang in there! :)
I feel you Gena. I struggle with that too. You put it so well when you said that Satan sees us as a big target when we overload ourselves. I am an overloader. I know it sounds cliche to say, "Count your blessings" but that's really what you have to do when you feel like everything's crazy at the same time. We really have it SO much better than we know. Think of the kids in poverty stricken countries---that's what helps me to be grateful. Praying for you!
Praying for calm, Gena, and for you to recognize it when it shows up. :) Sometimes it's gone before I know it was even there.
Will pray. And yes, you of all people know what to do. :)
It's funny - sometimes no matter how good I have it, I always find something to complain about. I always have the problem looking around at everyone else (who is complaining) and say - what are they complaining about? they have it so much better than I do. What I should be doing is helping someone who might not have it as good as me, and then I might not complain so much.
I'll let you know when I start to follow my own advice...(actually, I think I may follow the advice of Scot McKnight, who was one of the speakers at Zoe today - remind me to tell you about it).
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