safe landings.

i live in a swirly kind of place. where i really never land on anything for long- then when i do- i do my thing then off swirling again. while the flighty style suits me so and is it's always nice for me to be in the wind- i really had grown weary of the "side effects" of my lack of channeling. for the past few days i have- possibly for the first time in my life- experienced what it might be like to stay on the station. i landed, channeled, focused, laughed, cried and felt like a better me.

yeah, i have help. don't think it wasn't prayed over intensely- but through this gift, as today i see it- i was blessed with one of the best conversations i have had in the past 5 years with my mom. my holds weren't barred and she was my parent and i relished it. she talked to me about who i was growing up. the kind of spirit i had and heart. i needed to hear that so badly. i didn't realize how i needed be her daughter.

i shared with her the bond sadie and i have and the relationship she already exhibits with God- and she said "now you know what i had"- man- after feeling like her little girl again, i knew more than ever you never stop missing your mom. then i held on to the next few things she said while the Spirit led her.

i talked to her about needing rest. she reminded me Jesus needed rest often during his ministry. God himself in the flesh. thru my tears she told me i was precious to her and i need rest. and we talked about what she saw in me as a teenager. she told me she just knew i would end up working with children with special needs. i was happy to tell her i was and that she was right- i do work with them and am more filled by that part of my life than most other things i sink in to. i felt like i was where i needed to be. for now- for sure.

we connected. i let her in and she was on my page. i feel so loved today. thankful for her. her life. her LIFE. her choices. her strength. her huge strength that gets shadowed by her very very tender heart. her convictions she instilled in me. i broke down a wall that i wasn't sure could be moved. God is so good. i have landed today.

i know i love wind too much to become a different person thru all this awakening but i am looking forward to a better me. i can see God healing parts of me i didn't think really mattered that much. and thru those, big healings have begun. so blessed...