winterfest. 2008- know, see, be and share

this weekend was a force to be reckoned with. you know how Satan hates anything having to do with goodness, spiritual growth and expanding the Kingdom? it was amazing to me to see how ready he was to attack. from personal complications to overall flat out temptations from all around to be selfish and all about me. he even sent pure fear in me. something i don't honestly feel very often. and it was that sickening fear like i forgot for a few minutes that God was in control. take your breath away kind of gross feeling. satan was on his game.

but the awesome testimony is my God reigns. and He brought us over to His side with just one little nod of His head. i can see Jesus now- you know the one i like in jeans and long cool hair. He just cocked His head back one little bit and said "get over here" like in that movie 27 Dresses when the guy who wrote the wedding articles knew what he wanted. Jesus is so awesome -a nod of His head using Jeff Walling and the awesome minds of Winterfest coordinators and thousands of teens and adults were smitten. again.

at the end of the last session we were charged to share Jesus and I saw on faces of teenagers a broken spirit and renewal. it was power. it wasn't just powerful. it was power given straight from God himself to charge them and all of us "grown-ups" who truth be known needed this weekend as much if not more than some of these teens. He charged us to KNOW Him and SEE Him in other people and then BE Him in every interaction and then SHARE Him.

how do you waste your time?

what i do when i don't want to do what i need to do:

1- flip channels and watch people and think how i should exercise and eat better.
2- watch YouTube videos of video nerds film neat-o stuff and wish i could be that nerdy
3- wii- working on my backhand
4- think about what i would say to people if i could say whatever i wanted to say to them. (don't judge me, you know you do that sometimes)
5- in general, computer habits like overchecking my email or this.

your turn: top five-

let me tell you about my mauma

this afternoon my daddy called and told me mauma's gone on. we knew it was impending and hoped it was soon so she could go home. i didn't know how i would react honestly. first i told the kids and we shed a few tears but comforted ourselves with knowing she had a new body now.

then we went for ice cream. as i sat there at sonic i thought this was our small, makeshift celebration for her. she would've had orange sherbert. not surprisingly, i needed time to be alone and think and thank God for her passing and He gets to hold her now, not us anymore. still i feel sorry for me. i miss her right now, suddenly wishing i could take her big blue mesh bag of laundry back out to her and run in for a quick hello.

the last few months she and i shared moments that i will take with me till i meet her again. she's given me wisdom and strength in a gentle way. she was sharp as a tack and loved deeply. she had a big loud mouth and a laugh that would scare you. she loved wearing shirts with bright colors and was a huge harley fan. rarely did she miss the waterloo trail of tears, even from her wheelchair! i never knew if it was the motorcycles or men with long hair that drew her interest. she did love to flirt.

i could go on and on about her love for writing little notes to people all over the place. she knew the value of encouragement. she was a big fan of the group picture with her in the exact center of us all. she was also the churchlady that sings soprano too loudly. but she felt it and sang it not considering whether we liked it or not. her boldness is a strength i keep trying to recreate in me.

i missed some opportunities with her. but i know she was also a fan of understanding and forgiving me. she is the first person i have loved and lost in death. an experience i had to write about so i wouldn't forget the rawness of grief.

her butterfly loving self is feeling the wind in her hair now.