Click Here for recent pictures of the killen kids.

please know that because i am posting this, i am NOT in any way taking this lightly- as some of you know, sadie has given way to what we southerners call "fits"...and i am at a loss. i have tried every emotion with her (anger, being calm, ignoring, spanking, time-out) and analyzed every thing on the way up to the fit (tired, hungry, been around the boys too much, my moods) there seems to be no common denominator except she demands attention pretty much all the time and she may be giving it her best shot with these tantrums. i just don't know what to do when it happens. i feel helpless and ignorant and like a very bad parent.

i know this isn't healthy for any of us. i am crazy, sad and feeling left like i am not good at my purpose. i love her and am soooo crazy about her but lately she is just driving me crazy.

please pray for my parenting, my sanity and Sadie...

All i want for Christmas

all i want for Christmas...

click the above video and listen while you read. there's nothing like a little holiday music to get you in the mood. i know Christmas is about giving but we all have something we want right? something we keep saying, "Well, i'll just wait till Christmas for that"

so what is it?
list your top two...

mine are:
a music card and a charger for my phone
i-tunes bucks

the movie "step up" just might be next because i just rolled in from seeing it and am still on a high-i LoVeD it.
i think i am going to ditch aerobics and seriously consider a dance routine.
you think Cross Point would have a dance class? you never know...

P.E. Program

amy...
this is my son's teacher watching with diligence the Mars Hill PE program.
is she not the best????
thank you amy for teaching gates and being an amazing friend and example.

PE Program...You may or may not be interested in hearing about what i consider one of the cutest things MH elementary puts out thanks to our own Coach Denise. I will spare you the details of how cute my kids were and focus on yours. Chandler, Danna, Eric and Olivia, Abby and Hannah, Annsley and Ann Marie, Macy Wallace and Wright and about 50 other Cross Point kids were in there looking as awesome as ever, shaking their stuff to the beat.
I had one of those smiles that made my face hurt. One of those moments you thank God for-

my insi(RED) moment

i know a few of you know about "My Upmost for His Highest"- oswald chambers. he is a spiritually deep writer and i am blessed to have a link to him on my "to do" page that i check in on everyday.

i have to share today's thoughts. it -took a load off- so to say. one of those things that make you feel lighter, less burdened and less in control. a fantastic feeling. if you want to read the whole thing in context link to Heartlight.org


"We are taken up with active work while people all round are ripe to harvest, and we do not reap one of them, but waste our Lord's time in over-energized activities. Suppose the crisis comes in your father's life, in your brother's life, are you there as a labourer to reap the harvest for Jesus Christ? "Oh, but I have a special work to do!" No Christian has a special work to do. A Christian is called to be Jesus Christ's own, one who is not above his Master, one who does not dictate to Jesus Christ what he intends to do. Our Lord calls to no special work: He calls to Himself. "Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest," and He will engineer circumstances and thrust you out.

i think i am left feeling like this
"what the crap have i been trying to do here?!?!"

God has me. Praise God. So do any of you ever feel like you are trying to find your place, your purpose?

This says chill out. Live like Him -for Him -and because of Him.

Maybe that should be the question instead of finding our purpose is finding our reason.

I'm sorry. You all have probably discovered this on day 4 or 5 of your spiritual journey, i am just having an ah-ha moment about something that is obvious...ever have those days?
Forgive me if i randomly post 1 Cor. 13 again. i am inspi(RED).

what i hate is...

i am setting here at 10:52 on a thursday night questioning myself and how i spend my free time -as i was drying my hair tonight i realized that drying my hair was the single thing i hate to do the most. second is applying mascara. ironically God gave me curly hair that i seem to think must be dryed straight in order to be presentable and red eyelashes...

blogging is funny. it's just out there, talking with everyone but you never know who exactly and why they read or what intrests them- i know that pictures of hair dryers and hearing about how i hate to get ready can't possibly be worthy of any one person's time. why do we do this??
can i just solict comments here... i want to know what of your every day stuff that you have to do -do you HaTe to do? (i don't feel like rewording that)

fall break! "Lost" and OpRaH

(i have to share this picture that makes me laugh out loud. sadie has on those crazy google eye glasses and wanted to be in this picture with the lovely Dalton and Olivia but just couldn't commit.)

i woke up this morning and all of my children are playing together. not fighting and even helping each other. life seemed a little surreal. i laid in bed listening. i didn't think about what all i had to do this morning or how quickly i needed to get breakfast ready and kids out the door...i just listened. it was beautiful.

i then got up and greeted them for the day and made myself a large glass of my best sweet tea and turned on some oprah. she was talking with a woman that "snapped" , got in her car and drove 90 mph to the nearest bridge and jumped. obviously, unsuccesful because O was interviewing her. she went on to write a book "why i jumped". i have so many questions about this...so she wants to end her life and couldn't even do that right and comes out of depression (which is GriPpInG) and writes a book and gets on the Oprah show. God is so big is all i know. and it helped that she had footage of her attempt.

today i leave at 3 pm for zoe. last minute decision but i feel God lead. please pray for sadie especially, we were up some last night with her coughing. while your praying please also lift the student ministries. Pray i can be a better, more focused leader- with the spiritual developement of our kids as the vision...this is going to be my focus this weekend.

and i can't post without mentioning "Lost". last night mark, wes, erin and myself were literally on the edge of our seats sharing in the excitement of season three, episode one. i felt a little like i was awaiting something much bigger than the coming of sawyer, kate and jack. it was a little convicting... i am sorry for my over zelous addiction. but however somewhat satisfied with what few questions that were answered. i just needed a little more sayid...

Free Hugs Campaign (music by sick puppies)

The Supreme Excellency of Love

Blowers's Daughter...Damien Rice

Oh, Mama (Funny)

what i need to be doing instead of blogging all these videos

meChurch

sounds nice...