This is a visual of my life right now... but in a good way- the person in the above truck is alive and the tree doesn't get sucked up. The roof can be mended, see, it's just a tear.

i came across an ever so popular scripture tonight. but i was reading it to the kids therefore it's in true message form-hold on and let me find it...
ok, so i found it and i really don't want to share it. Not that you, wouldn't benefit but it's just too personal. God and i are keeping that one.

How about last nights from Phil...3:15-16?

"So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it."

(last night it fell just right so much that i cried and the kids were so confused, today i may be a little confused by my reaction too)

my emotions are ramped...

God's been doing this to me, showing me these great verses, thanks for the prayers brought on by my sad little picture of a half full glass of water, always the optimist... ;) Amy, thank you.
I felt it.

I am getting filled during this potentially empty time of busy-ness. (do you know if you drop the y and change it to i busy-ness becomes business?) i didn't until right now.

Holly, what job are you praying for? Nashville's my vote too!

water

In my heart, I am thirsty for you, the living God.

When will I see your face? ...Ps. 42:2 Then I lift my hands in prayer,
because my soul is a desert, thirsty for water from you...Ps. 143:6

Do you ever crave God, want a moment from Him so desperately? You can't get filled fast enough with scriptures, stories or dialogue of Him or with Him?

top 5 little wierd things that bring me peace

5. the bed, how it looks -right after you have changed the sheets then made it. it's just so crisp.

4. the sink, empty with the little hand towel beside it and steam coming out of the dishwasher because it's all about to be clean...

3. hot, folded white towels on my dryer- decidedly very cool to me.

2. in the van: my purse, sunglasses, lip-gloss, cell and c.d. case within arms reach. ahh...

1. gum. a fresh pack of orbit. original flavor, or maybe new wintermint. surprise me.

what's on your top 5 little wierd list?
please note: these aren't things that necessarily bring you happiness, it's peace we're going for.
Come on...why do we read each others bloggs anyway?

Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on him....Ps. 62:5

do you think that these little things that bring us peace, instead of being wierd -are just little gifts from God in our otherwise not so peace filled worlds?

vomit boy and extinction

can i just whine a second here-

riley's sick, throwing up practically all night so between trips to the bathroom to hold hair back, gateraide and cleaning up after my oh so dramitic sick child i have been sort of surfing the web for cool pictures of red headed people.
I will spare you why.
- and i found this site for redheads (the official site for redheads, who knew?!) and i found out that we are going to be EXTINCT in just a few years! (well next century)...maybe!?!
-and that the gene is dominant and skips generations usually and- and -and, well it just made me feel unique is all. and my kids...
but i want to whine because i had this cool little blogg all ready and something stupid happened to my computer that i am sure i did not do, ...anyway, all you get is this boring, ugly paragraph that has no cute clip art or statistics on redheads - i know you are all crushed. except you probably didn't make it this far-
I may be writing a lot the next couple of days if we all get this stinking virus.
oh, and i think my man David had red hair. More reasons for me to connect to this man.
I think i am going to go read some Ps. SoMetHiNg a little more productive than this.

do you ever feel like the more your around your kids, the more you want to be around your kids...
or is it the oppposite?
and if you are away from them for a while you almost have to reteach yourself your role?

i think my kids are so fun...(well today they were, parts of yesterday and most of last week) i am with them 24/7 right now, and i like it!
but i am a little worried about my week long stay in Mexico this summer-
missing them for one, but the whole getting myself back in the groove scares me a little-
i am afraid i won't like them when i get back
crazy, you think i'd be anxious to get back and i will be but not what i fear will await.
is that wrong, selfish or normal?
and "worry" isn't the word, it's like i don't want to miss out,
letting go of control stinks no matter why you are doing it.
then coming back to the rules being different for a while and sort of starting over in some ways. yuck. makes me just say, "forget you little mexico" but God said "go", so here i go...well, in a few weeks
again, please pray for me-and them and the little kids i can't wait to meet-

see, she needs me too...

the lake house...
i am fascinated with this movie.

do you ever just want to be so creative and all you can think about is like canteloupe or some song your kids listen to on the computer...
...blank...nothing...

i was working on the wizard again tonight and my mind was in gear. i was thinking of red shoes and tornado swirls, jello hearts and then i hit a wall...fruit...and the tune of "magical trevor". I had to stop and leave a little ? question mark sign on my otherwise finished work. agh.

what is that?

please allow me to try and connect you to my child's brain that leaves me stumped

http///www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/magical+trevor/

and after actually browsing this weebls stuff i might just be officially done with magical trevor- much to the boys dismay. It links to "south park"! Pray for my parenting please...no kidding.
but doesn't that tune stay with you?

can anyone guess?

ok, this is pretty hard for me but i think i may be vain.
i think i know i am. i am a little too worried about my tan, my hair and my weight.

am i alone here?

i really don't think i am. honestly, i think i am among many who suffer from such meaningless worries. "Health" i like to call it.
"I just want to be healthy".
and i do, seriously. but come on...i have to be real here. i'm not counting out my celery sticks and measuring my granola intake- i am checking my muscle tones and tan lines.
now i am not one of these that take forever getting ready because i can't escape the pull of the mirror or go vomit a meal. it's not like that with me- i just think some of my confidence may be coming from the product of my Maker instead of my Maker...ridiculous- and i am guilty of doing this with other things too...of course i am... and i know better. Satan is sneaky.

again- pray for me- i want to be healthy for God. i am His house sort of. it's that simple.
and please talk to me people!
is anyone else willing to go here with me? this vulnerable topic?
i don't think i am shallow, so i won't be putting that on you. or just let me know how you are not vain so i can be just like you :) think about it.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

i threw my phone today in the floorboard of my van and broke the screen.
confession is good for the soul...?
i let anger build up- how do you just not let it in at all?
someone let me know-

into the unknown

God knew what he was doing when he kept heaven a mystery...I know our minds really aren't able to get it and there aren't words we would understand but the mystery factor...it holds a lot in it for some of us. I am unusually excited about the unknown of my future. And even if He takes me nowhere, which i doubt- I am so anxious about that mystery of after this life. Not in a deathly way, in a healthy way.
joy? yes - mystery, yes!
Who reads a Higgins-Clark book to find out on p. 74 who the kidnapper was? or plays clue after we find it's Ms. Peacock, with the rope in the kitchen? What's a good fundraiser without an anonymous donation?
Have you seen "Break-Up" yet? i am dying here. But a real mystery keeps us going, keeps us talking, keeps us excited. I love that so much of God is mysterious- His face for one.
Wes Hall rocked this morning at the supper...I want to crave God for God, not what He gives me. I hope my mystery minded self isn't getting in the way of that- Keep praying that i can get over myself, my self absorbtion to be more clear. GoD and OtHeRs- my goal.
And baron33- keep it real, keep it a mystery, we may listen better.

ok, i know adding links to your pages comes so easy to you guys but i have worked so hard and now here it is...amy, meredith and krista. You are among the chosen few...
krista, what's up with your blog? did i do that?
good night people---tomorrow, audio!

HeY,
as i get over myself and learn to listen better AND pray for wisdom everyday of my life, Satan is tough on me...ever feel the pains of one step forward and two back?
That live lightly one gets me everytime.
And that sounds like the most fun doesn't it?!
Frustrated.
Pray for me friends.

sinless not flawless

I have really pondered the whole Jesus and no mistakes thing. I went as far to obsess i am afraid. I think i figured something out- Jesus had to have miscut something along the way.

I was determined the other night to not make a mistake while i painted...anyone who knows me, just might know i am not the most precise person. But i tried my very best to only paint white where white was intended. In my determination i guess you can guess. Of course i slathered my "lucky leprechan" laudry with it. I wanted to be perfect but i am human. So human.

That very day i had also slid on some water on the floor and almost fell. In front of a lot of kids that laughed...Human. I also ran into a doorknob and knocked my already old person back out of line...Human. ( i know this is bordering clutz, but not my point...bear with me.)

My lack of grace doesn't call for his grace. It just reminds me i am not God. And His grace covers the times i ChOoSe to not act like Him. I don't know, maybe Jesus didn't miscut or need an outlet. I know he needed rest. He rocked didn't He? He would go to rest and be interupted and NOT get angry. I so want to be like Him. Oh, and pray for me, i am so sore today ;)

Then Jesus said, "Let's go to a place where we can be alone and get some rest." They left in a boat for a place where they could be alone. But many people saw them leave and figured out where they were going. So people from every town ran on ahead and got there first.

When Jesus got out of the boat, he saw the large crowd that was like sheep without a shepherd. He felt sorry for the people and started teaching them many things.

OUTLET?

First, thanks for encouraging me to write again. I LOVE to write and usually just wait on my weekly faithwriters topic and now, thanks to AmY...i think i am getting into this except if i blog during the day i have to be "Ms. Mandula" and Sadie tells me things to say like "time to get your colors out" or "time to write your name"...i think we're playing "school" but i am not sure.
I have been thinking about what exactly my "outlet" is...just now i mean. I haven't really thought i had one but i think i may...except that it's a lot of things. I love music and am queen of mix's and so i recently put a spin on my intrest and picked up the guitar-and now it's kind of like Kenny Rogers said, "she's waiting for me like a secret friend" in the corner over there and i just keep looking at it thinking how cool it would be if i could really play-you know something that has more than the 3 chords i know.
...Do you think Jesus had an outlet? What about carpentry? I can see how crafting furniture or even houses would be mind consuming, which is why we enjoy outlets, right? or do we because we are talented? Maybe both - But did HE need that? Something else to think about? or have the finished product of a "talent" to give him a sence of pride? He's JESUS. What do you think? I am not going to say yet, i want to hear from you first.

Yellow Brick Wall

so my mind is on the wizard- i am trying to be a creative C. Minister and this is what keeps coming to my mind. It's a brick wall...but at least it's yellow.
I felt the groove of my ministry today for the first time in a while sad to say. I took a vacation i think during the move. I hope all will forgive me as i get my game back on. Pray for my mind, heart and my ability to be courageous as i embark untraveled terrain towards the emerald city. Today was a good day. Praise God he helped me out a lot. He is so awesome. I came across an awesome scripture in my book i am reading, did i mention this? It's called "Letting Go of Anger and Frustration". It's a quick read in fact i am through with it and its 74 pages. Back to my scripture, in true message form: Matthew 11:28-30

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

live lightly. get over myself. listen.
things i am working on (besides vbs)